The first time I got stoned was in 1977.  I was six years old, but looked like I was 18.  I had progeria but it went into remission.   I was renting a room at the Chelsea, Marisa Berenson had the room next door to me and we often went to the movies together.  I’ll never forget the time she dragged me to see THE SORROW AND THE PITY at the legendary Bleeker Street Cinema.During intermission, she told me a great story about how Ryan O’Neal was fucking Melanie Griffith in an Irish bed and breakfast while they were filming BARRY LYNDON.  Since it was Ireland, it was damned near impossible for them to score condoms, so Melanie had to take it in the ass. Poor Tatum O’Neal would be passed out from wild nights of booze and drugs in the B & B hallway.  Lucky gal.

One day, I was feeling a little mischievous and told Marisa about a new French art film playing in Times Square called Le Car when in fact, there was no such thing.  I ended up taking her to a grindhouse to see a really funny horror movie THE CAR, about a satanic car that runs over people and kills them.  James Brolin is in it, just before his full bearded hot peak in THE AMITYVILLE HORROR.

Apres le film, she was so mad, that she took off to Studio 54 without me.  Luckily, I knew the doorman and I sneaked in.  That place was a trip!  I got dizzy from the smell of amyl nitrate.  In fact, I must’ve really been messed up because I thought I saw Bette Davis remove her dentures and give Mikhail Barishnikov a blow job.  But on closer inspection it turned out to be Nancy Walker, from the Bounty commercials blowing Marjoe Gortner’s uncut cock.

I was dying for a Galouises, but ended up smoking a funny looking cigarette with Nipsey Russell, who was on break from filming THE WIZ with Sidney Lumet and Diana Ross.  Diana was there as well, making out with Gene Simmons while he was searching through her purse for a tic-tac (or was it toffifay?)

I looked everywhere for Marisa, but could not find her.  I took a cab back to the Chelsea, went straight to her room and she was gone.  She packed all her Gucci bags and the Bitch left me there high and dry like most of the parental figures I’ve ever had in my life.

I recently wrote a song about Marisa called “Fierce Bitch” which may be available in the future on the Charo Manson site.

IF you’re lucky, fool.